[he does not excuse himself, though he knows it is not something he would have done before Wei Ying died -- something he tried very hard not to do before Wei Ying died. he thought a lot, in those thirteen years, where his life moved on while his heart was largely in hiatus. he has his reasons.]
[he doesn't judge himself for it. he literally explained to Wei Wuxian why it was a kink a couple of days ago, though he doubts Wei Wuxian fully Got It.]
[his hand is flat on the counter, eyes a little distant, not looking at his older self; he still isn't standing in judgment over the elder Lan Wangji for going ahead. he's simply looking at a past much more painfully recent than it was thirteen years from where he stands.]
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[nods wordlessly, breath caught in his throat unexpectedly by the question
of course he is happy.]
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Is Wei Ying?
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Sometimes.
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It is good.
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I will try.
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[nods, but]
Staying even when he is not happy.
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[pauses again; not a hesitation, just a moment to consider his words...]
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For your Wei Ying.
Is it difficult?
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Does yours trust you?
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[he doesn't know.]
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Took time.
More trust, more staying.
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Time will tell.
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You did not tie him to a donkey.
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...
...
[tilts his head]
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Wished to keep him safe. Would not let him go.
[he does not excuse himself, though he knows it is not something he would have done before Wei Ying died -- something he tried very hard not to do before Wei Ying died. he thought a lot, in those thirteen years, where his life moved on while his heart was largely in hiatus. he has his reasons.]
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[he doesn't judge himself for it. he literally explained to Wei Wuxian why it was a kink a couple of days ago, though he doubts Wei Wuxian fully Got It.]
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[five days is longer than Wei Wuxian would ever willingly stay with him, in that fraught time after his revival.]
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I know why I cannot.
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Do you wish help?
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How?
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Tell Wei Ying.
[...pauses again]
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