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[one_note]

[ TEXT | ACTION | IDK FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS ]

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[one_note]

She was prisoner until I was six.

[weiyingdown]

[his arms tighten around him]

Why?

[one_note]

She was not part of the Lan sect.

Killed a teacher, who instructed her and Father.

Father married her, unwilling. To save her life.

[weiyingdown]

[his face a flicker of sorrow. to offer condolences feels too cheap. yet he is still someone who feels compelled to use his words, and so tries to make the sincerity of them felt by giving him a gentle kiss to the forehead as well]

I'm sorry. Even if you were able to visit her, I can't imagine what it must have been like.

[one_note]

It was what it was.

[it was not as though he had not put together the story and its implications and how strongly they ran later, but as a little boy, it had been all the framework for family he knew. your father in one cottage; your mother in the other; yourself and your brother in the care of your uncle but for once a month. they saw father in painfully correct meetings no matter what, and he instructed them without trying to grow close to them. they saw mother when they were very good, and she was happy when they were there.]

Would not have Gusu be your prison.

[weiyingdown]

[stiffens with slow-dawning horror as the full meaning of those words becomes more and more apparent to him. it feels like context he was missing, information that was sorely needed when trying to understand him.

he doesn't make any move to pull away--if anything, when the distress starts to spill out onto his features he buries his face in Lan Wangji's chest]

I know that now.

[one_note]

Mm.

[doesn't say anything more pressuring than that, only strokes his fingers through his hair and soothingly over the back of his neck: shhh]

[weiyingdown]

[relaxes again by inches, but keeps his head buried]

...The places I go are places I choose to go. I'm afraid you couldn't trap me if you tried. If I'm caught, it's only because I want to be. Don't mistake it for anything else.

[one_note]

[his heart skips a beat; his tiny acknowledging noise is very faint this time, like he can't get enough air.]

[weiyingdown]

[peeks up at him; dares to brush a hand across his empty forehead, where his ribbon would normally be]

Were you worried? Coming and going doesn't mean I won't come back. I'll go wherever you go.

[one_note]

[leans so heavily into that it's almost like a cat headbutting his hand, demanding touch]

Only wish to be where you are.

[weiyingdown]

[runs his hand up into his hair, massaging the crown with the tips of his fingers]

That's a difficult task when there are two of me wandering around doing as we please.

[one_note]

Yes.

[said without rancor]

[weiyingdown]

[his hand slows for a moment; that isn't a problem he can fix on his own]

I never met your father. I don't know if what he did was right or wrong given the situation. So maybe I can't really say--but I'll say it anyways. I don't think you're like him at all. You aren't the kind of person who would lock away the people he cares about. I can't stop you from worrying about it. But I'm not worried at all, because I know you.

[one_note]

[soft, unable to ask him to stay, only able to say what he knows is true for himself:]

Would never.

[weiyingdown]

[kisses his chin, a quick little peck as he resumes massaging his head again]

You would never! And you would never need to. At least not with me. I'm right here.

[one_note]

You are here.

[repeats it like he's reassuring himself, arms steady around him...]

[weiyingdown]

I'm here. No need to worry.

[one_note]

[looks down at his face, eyes serious and soft]

No?

[weiyingdown]

No.

[equally quiet and serious as he gazes back]

What does staying with someone mean to you?

[one_note]

Something desired.

...

To face life beside them.

Partnership.

[weiyingdown]

[the way he says it makes it sound like it has some deeper meaning, but he can't pinpoint exactly what]

That's already what this is. Isn't it?

[one_note]

Is it?

[it is not a rhetorical question. they have not defined this in so many words, between themselves.]

[weiyingdown]

[weakly,]

Er-gege, a few days ago you wouldn't even say you wanted to go on a date with me. I can say whatever I want, but it doesn't matter if you don't agree with it.

[one_note]

...

Wanted to. If you did.