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[one_note]

[ TEXT | ACTION | IDK FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS ]

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[weiyingdown]

should I keep doing what I please even if you hate it?

[one_note]

Preference should not shackle.

[weiyingdown]

stating a preference isn't anything close to a shackle.

[one_note]

Is it not?

[weiyingdown]

it's not! what if we'd both prefer the same thing, but neither of us says it because we don't want to impose on the other? or what if there's something I do that you don't like, but I don't care about it either way and I'd prefer you be happy than do that one little thing?

[one_note]

And when it cannot be said?

Or has been disregarded?

[weiyingdown]

you try again.

[one_note]

[._.]

Not simple.

[weiyingdown]

I didn't say it was simple. Hanguang-Jun, if you're asking that because there are things you can't say or because I've disregarded something you said in the past then that's the only advice I can give you.

[one_note]

[what...what else can he say? if he cannot say it, he cannot say it. if it will be disregarded every time, trying again will not make Wei Wuxian disregard it less. grips the phone in a numb hand]

It is appreciated.

[weiyingdown]

lying is forbidden.
I'm staying because I decided to. no one forced me to or imprisoned me against my will. you can't make me do something I don't want to do. but if you explain what you're thinking then I can at least understand your perspective. right now I don't know anything. I don't know why you're mad at me or what I've disregarded, and I can't know the things you won't say.
if you decided that I'm more trouble than I'm worth, at least tell me that much so I know not to bother you any further.

[one_note]

[laborious:]

Lying is forbidden.

I am not angry with you.

You are worth everything.

[...]

I am trying.

[weiyingdown]

[there's a long stretch with no response in which he stares at the words on his screen and tries to link them to their present situation]

even if we're both trying it's still like this. if you're not mad then why did you leave?

[one_note]

Afraid.

[weiyingdown]

of talking? not talking? I was sitting back down when you left...

[he knows whatever damage was done had already been done before that point, but he's still holding out a bit of hope that he can gain more insight into the overarching problem by poking around it]

[one_note]

When both have not worked. Have never worked.

When confusion or excuses result.

When I remember.

[weiyingdown]

it's still better than it was in the past, isn't it? we used to fight all the time back then. I at least understand you a little better now. I know you don't hate me, and want me to stay, and don't like it when I avoid a subject, and do like it when I pet your hair, and spend too much time worrying about others. you say the sweetest things and I don't have any idea of what I did to deserve them.

[even after that's sent, his phone still indicates that he's typing]

I'll probably keep messing up. even so, I still want to stay with you. whatever you're afraid of, can't we try to deal with it together, a little bit at a time?

[one_note]

[if he's still keeping visual tabs on Lan Wangji through the leaves at all, he'll see a very physical jerk of shock. Wei Wuxian saying 'I want to stay with you' and 'we can deal with it together' is still some kind of fever dream fantasy]

I would like that.

Very much.

[only autocorrect saves him from making the first phone typo of his life, sending that one off; his eyes are blurred and hot.]

[weiyingdown]

[he can see it out of the corner of his eye; he doesn't know what the physical reaction means beyond surprise, but based on his text reply it can't be a bad surprise]

then consider it done. I would have done it anyways, but it's easier together.

[one_note]

I ask your patience. As well.

[weiyingdown]

you have it! and I'll try not to cause you too much trouble.

[one_note]

No need.

[weiyingdown]

[there is some need, but he won't say that]

do you feel a little better now? will you let me make it up to you somehow?

[one_note]

You have.

[weiyingdown]

even if you say I have, I don't feel like I have. can you indulge me? let me treat you to something.